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The Booty Blog: #6 Personal Musings on Taking the Time

By: Lilith

As I’ve continued to explore booty fun I note myself finding it difficult to make  time to focus on anal play. While those will anal enthused partners may find encouragement to further the bum fun, as a bird flying solo it seems like anal is hard to make a sexual priority. I certainly am surrounded by it every day that I work in a sex store and my opinion of anal as an exciting and healthy sexual expression has not waned, but I’ve noted that focusing on the bum is at times not an easy task.

Don’t get me wrong, when I buy a new toy excitement like Christmas overtakes and I start to plan immediately how to enjoy my new friend and most importantly; how to prep for the fun to be had. I think that is what really sets anal and vaginal fun a part for me as a cis-gendered woman, it is the time taken to prepare for anal that the vagina just doesn’t need as much. Of course, by prep I mean making sure (frankly) that you’ve pooped recently, are all cleaned up down there through douching or showering and that you take the time to warm up. At least for me as a beginner in a sense, if I want to get off quickly before hitting the sack to sleep, anal is not the way to do it. While I have experienced some intense sensations trying booty stuff that I would definitely describe as pleasurable, that only happened after much time of prep, and exploration of the backdoor. No quick rub out, at least for me, when it comes to butt stuff.

Talking with other down-below explorers in the sex-store I work at has made it abundantly clear that my problem of “finding time” for anal is not an uncommon one. While those of various sexual orientations may partake in anal fun regularly because their options may be limited in the area of penetration, I find myself thinking- vaginal just seems easier. While speaking to customers in the store, this sentiment has come up multiple times and the introduction of a new toy has spurred the fires for some but for others, changing their very thoughts on anal is what is required.

I’ve had to re-imagine butt stuff in a way that is more encouraging to take the time. I’ve found that taking a non-sensual approach doesn’t work for me. If I think of booty play as a chore to “get it over with,” then I don’t want to do it. Seems rather obvious but in reality when you so dearly want to feel what others have felt and enjoy what others have described, the fastest way seems the most appropriate. I’ve learnt that while quickies have their place and time, often for butt stuff it just doesn’t fit. Like having to work up to bigger sizes, anal sex and more extreme booty fun, you’ve got to start slow for getting yourself ready. I need that sensual touch to enjoy it frankly. Whether that be taking a long and exploratory bath with dimmed lights and music or having the apartment to yourself for a few hours to give time to explore slowly with different toys and in different areas.

Our lives are extremely busy and sometimes it is really hard to take time to yourself. Have a cup of tea and watch a ridiculous movie or take a couple of hours in the bath with your favorite booty toy. Exploring anal fun does not have to be a chore but it is instead how you think about it. Take the time for yourself and your body, you’ll thank yourself in the end- I did.

Filed under: The Booty Blog

About the Author

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Alexandria Nuttal is an active sex educator, activist and writer in Ottawa, ON. With a Master's degree in Women and Gender Studies, her writing and workshops are educational, approachable and a ton of fun. She also currently works in a local adult store and actively advocates for sex-positivity. With a love for BDSM, reading and Ottawa's GLBTQ culture, you'll be sure to laugh and learn something from Alexandria and have fun doing it.

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